For Auld Lang Syne

Friends ~ New Year's Eve is tonight and I know that for many, expectations are huge.  Dedication and rededication. A new turn toward health or romance or employment or address or...whatever it is that keeps you up at night because you "haven't done it right, yet". Emphasis, yours, not mine.

As I write this, I am listening to a particularly lovely jazz version of "What Are You Doing On New Year's Eve?". It's a wonderful standard but the implicit message is: Am I worthy of your attention on this most important of all nights?

When the bells all ring and the horns all blow
And the couples we know are fondly kissing
Will I be with you or will I be among the missing?

Maybe I'm crazy to suppose
I'd ever be the one you chose
Out of a thousand invitations
You received

Oh, but in case I stand one little chance
Here comes the jackpot question in advance
What are you doing New Year's?
New Year's Eve?

The weight that we give this -- let's face it --really meaningless moment is a shame. It's somewhat arbitrary and certainly, it's not the ONLY beginning to a year. Rosh Hashanah, Chinese New Year and Nowruz are fairly familiar but there are new beginnings every month and season of the year. So. So what?

So if we connect with an annual beginning - and really, why not? -- and choose to dedicate ourselves to start something, what's the problem? Here is what I see as the problem: feeling good, certainly feeling better and making improvements is fantastic but it's that issue of worthiness that I worry about.

There is a connection we make between what we accomplish and how we see ourselves, our self-worth. It can be a trap. If you start a new program on January 1 because it's January 1 you "still haven't reached....", what I hear is a start that comes from seeing yourself as less-than, rather than deserving-of. And if you slow down, stop, "fail" at that new program? What then? How will you think about yourself? Still deserving?

You...whoever you are, whatever you have or have not done, you ARE deserving. You are. Period.

On December 31, I always see articles that ask the question: What does Auld Lang Syne mean? (It's the song no one knows!) Actually, lots of us know it, and I say that as someone who is Scottish. Literally, it means "old long since" or more commonly, days gone by.

A year has gone by so it's a great choice to ring in a new one.

The chorus -- translated into English -- is the part the most people know:

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne.
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

For days gone by, friends. For the year that we've gotten through. We'll take a cup of kindness and while we're at it, let's extend the kindness to ourselves. And that is absolutely my wish, my prayer, for you.

For all: Forgive yourselves. Start with that. Whatever shortcoming you think you have, let it go. Life is too short for self-flagellation. What good does it serve? If you forgive yourself, really, then I believe you will be so much more able to focus on whatever life-adjustments you want to take on.

Since it's New Year's Eve, I won't call this an encore. We can call it our New Beginning. Let's remember that we are worthy...and yes, we CAN look for new jobs and new loves and new homes....and know that as we enter 2019, we do it knowing we fully deserve goodness.

I do and you do.

Peace.