On MInistry

Yesterday, I lead the worship service for the Unitarian Universalist students where I work, Harvard Divinity School. They gather every Friday at noon and take turns leading the services, figuring out how to integrate the parts of the service and find their voices. For me, it is always wonderful to watch it unfold but yesterday, I was given the incredibly privilege of leading them myself.

I am not ordained.  For years, I was obsessed with it and went so far as to go to an open house for a theological school that now, no longer exists. It seemed that to be legitimate meant to be ordained by my denomination and to have that credential. I have been at the Div School for fifteen years, which -- truly -- is an education for which I am paid. In my thirties, when I began to process of discernment, one my mentors told me: "Only go into ministry if you can't NOT do it." The life of giving oneself to it was a demanding one, she told me. But that didn't keep me from it. When I was at the point of applying -- at 39 -- I became pregnant with my first son. Then I had my second son.

If it sounds like I am saying; "Well, I would have gone into ministry but...", I'm not. I did go into ministry. I am a minister.

It has taken me a long time to claim this, to believe this to my core. At HDS, we say that we "define ministry broadly" which the absolute truth. Because I have been able to tell this to them, I have been able to let myself believe it, too.

This blog is dedicated to my Dad, who I have always said was first minister, though he, too, was never ordained a UU minister. For so many years, I have spoken about HIS ministry -- for surely, it was ministry -- and if I had a dollar for every time I've wished he was alive now so we could talk about what it takes to do this work in the world, I would be a very rich woman.

But. I have found my own ministerial voice. My own way. My church in Milton lets me lead worship once or twice a year, and the students at HDS do, too. It is a gift that brings me to tears. I am still learning and growing.

What is my message here? For many years, I doubted myself.  It thought only orthodoxy and the prescribed path was the only way I could claim my identity.  Self-doubt? Yes, of course.

My encore today is: when you consider your identity, who you are, what you love, stay with it. I don't know how long it will take you, but I can say that when you own truth, it rings clear as any bell.

Yesterday, my sermon was titled: A Very Good Friday. I preached on what Holy Week offers UUs to think about. I got some wonderful feedback afterwards. It felt good, crafting all of it. I felt like I was preaching with, not at,  which matters to me. Communication, after all, is transactional: a two-way process.

So stay with it, friends. How you see yourself, who you are at your core, matters. Keep at, living -- or figuring out -- your truth.

Amen.

* AND my bonus for today is: I am part of a podcast! In February, First Parish in Milton started recording the services and mine was included. If you are curious what one of sermons sounds like, here it is. The sermon was titled: A Wide-Eyed Theology, which covers a bit about how UUs think.

Open your podcast app and go to “Open podcast by URL” and paste in the following link: https://feed.podbean.com/fpmilton/feed.xml

If you are on iPhone it is under Podcasts app, Library, Edit